


The Light In Your Eyes

by 4snowfalls (orphan_account)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Soonhoon - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 12:43:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9608072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/4snowfalls
Summary: It's hard to forget someone who gave Jihoon so much to remember.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Re-uploaded because Archive deleted this for some reason.
> 
> Play the video for more feels, but if the link ain't working, here's the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m9LGMM9e9c

Ring. Ring. Ring.

"Hi! You've reached Kwon Soonyoung! C'mon Jihoonie, say hi!"

"No, why. I hate people-"

"Sorry I can't reach the phone right now. I'm probably with my Jihoonie, or I'm sleeping, or doing something and completely ignoring you. Please leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you when I feel like it."

"That's a really fucking shitty voice message-"

"Bye!"

 

**_Lively laughing voices are illuminated by the city lights,_ **

**_as my footprints are left behind in back alleys_ **

**_Wondering how much I wanted to tell made it through to you._ **

**_I'm always looking back to check._ **

 

"Hey Soonyoung, how's it going?"

No answer.

Jihoon holds his phone up to his ear - well, a black box that was apparently called a phone. Meanwhile the object was bigger than the length of his hand. And Soonyoung would never leave him alone about it. It wasn't his fault that Apple manufactured the iPhone 7 Plus to look like a miniature Nintendo 3DS console. The only reason why he was making this reference was because Soonyoung was addicted to Pokemon Moon and he would never shut up about it. It wasn't as bad when Pokemon Alpha Sapphire came out though. Jihoon would never forget how Soonyoung would call him at four in the morning just to tell him he finally caught the fucking whale Pokemon or something.

Jihoon remembers how Soonyoung finally caught a legendary Pokemon by using just a mere Poke Ball.

 

"O _h my god Jihoon look I caught Lunala. It took me a million years to catch it and I finally got it_!" _Soonyoung tackles the small man to the ground, luckily they didn't break their backs. He shoves the device in Jihoon's face. There it was. Jihoon couldn't really describe what it looked like. You'd have to see it for yourself._

_"Couldn't you just use a Master Ball?" Jihoon looks at him, eyebrows raised in confusion._

_Soonyoung shook his head as if it were the most stupid thing that he heard."Hell no, I'm going to save it. I caught Lunala with a regular Pokemon Ball and I'm proud. I'm the master." There was that eye smile._

_"You should use that Master Ball on a Pidgey." Jihoon smirks, beginning to laugh at his YouTube reference._

_"I'm not making the same mistake that the stupid YouTuber did."_

_"You mean Smosh?"_

 

Jihoon remembers how they always used to laugh. How their laughter would fill the empty space in the air. Laughing under the city lights while minature snowflakes would cascade down from fluffy marshmellows. How Soonyoung would kiss his nose and tell him how much he cared about him. And how Jihoon would always be trying to talk about the upcoming Astronomy project, or how he would always try to take something seriously when they went out together. There were so many how's, Jihoon wasn't ever able to count them. The skies would have small balls of light. He was always told that the small balls of light represented a person up in heaven who lived in eternal happiness. He hoped that was true.

 

**_You never hesitate,_ **

**_so I'm sure you'll come running to me_ **

**_no matter who I've become._ **

 

"It's been a while, right?"

No answer.

"I miss you."

Jihoon chokes the words up, but he means every part of it. He isn't one to express his feelings, but he will. He always has, just in the oddest ways. There was one time where Soonyoung was feeling down on himself as a dancer, and Jihoon wanted to tell him that it would be okay. So, being the awkward human he is, Jihoon wrote a song in ten minutes about "being okay" and it worked out really well. Soonyoung was happy with the song. He's a big pile of affection so he hugged Jihoon for around five minutes after Jihoon sang the song for him. That song turned out to be Healing. Healing was probably one of Jihoon's favorite songs and it was a hit with his music professor; and they even made it into a music video with the production team since the others on campus loved it so much. Most of the other students thought it was a song for them to rest to, despite the catchy beat. Jihoon remembered that Chan thought it was a song from him to the younger students, the freshman. In a way, Healing was made for everyone so they could relax and feel happy. Although, it was made with Soonyoung in mind.

Jihoon still recalls how they had met. How he was a confused college student from the middle class. It was still a miracle how he had gained entry into a prestigious university. If he hadn't been valedictorian at his old high school, or if he hadn't gone to the Science Olympiad compeititions, he probably wouldn't have been given a glance by Pledis. But miracles exist, Kwon Soonyoung was definitely one of them. Jihoon puts his phone done, leaving it on speaker, in case someone answers. His lips curve into a forlorn smile; recalling how they had met.

 

**_As I stare intently into your eyes,_ **

**_my reflection there is the proof that I exist._ **

**_And my heartbeat, which could stop any time now._ **

**_Is resounding louder and louder._ **

 

_Jihoon didn't really know what he wanted to do. All he knew was that he wanted to do something in music. He had known since he was younger that he was meant to be a music major. It all started when he began playing piano at the age of three. He didn't really know what he was doing. It was Christmas and his uncle had his keyboard out on the table. Jihoon was fascinated by the keys. He was so intrigued at the black and white pattern. The three year old had pulled up a chair to the dinosaur looking keyboard, sat down, and began pressing the keys as if it belonged to him. It produced such a beautiful, soothing sound. He easily figured out what harmonies were, what keys to play, what keys not to play as a harmony. That was a day that changed his life forever._

_Fast forward fifteen ye_ _ars later. It was freshman year at Pledis University. Jihoon was going as a Science major, and he was using music as a backup, or a minor. It was a bit surprising but Jihoon was fascinated with the stars as well as music. As a result, he decided to go to college for Science and compose his own music on the side. He was a pretty big deal in the music world. He went by the stage name "Woozi", and "Woozi" composed numerous songs for famous idol groups. No one knew who he truly was though. Not even the companies knew his name. They simply knew his face. And being Jihoon, he enjoyed having a secret identity. It was kind of mindblowing and it was truly something he enjoyed. Music was something that defined him._

_Jihoon sat down in his desk. It was third period. He pretended to not notice the group of boys staring at him from the corner. Sure, Jihoon was a nerd. He wore round glasses and his aura practically screamed "i'm a nerd! Please beat me up!" He did get into this college with a scholarship. He wasn't used to lavish schools. His high school was middle class, and he graduated as a valedictorian. He gave the speech at his high school, he was offered a scholarship to Pledis University. Jihoon nearly fainted that day because Pledis was one of the best universities on Earth, not to mention that the tuition was extremely high. Jihoon didn't bother applying because of this - but somehow the college had scouted him at a Science competition he had done as a senior._

_"Hey." someone had sat in the conjoining desk next to Jihoon._

_He turns and he nearly falls over. It's a male, a very goodlooking one. His jet black hair is neatly combed, fluttering over his profile. His eyes form into crescent moons; his lips curved into the biggest smile Jihoon has seen. His teeth are probably brighter than his future. The stranger doesn't have glasses on. He wears a navy blue button shirt along with black jeans. Jihoon is pretty sure that the shirt is from some rich company, because his eyes can detect that it's made of expensive silk. Jihoon suddenly feels inferior because of his gray hoodie and his dark denim jeans, or as he calls it, his "i woke up late so this is the best i can look right now" outfit. He just stares at the most-likely-rich male sitting next to him. Jihoon nicknamed him "Rich Guy."_

_Rich Guy pulls out a piece of paper, slipping it onto Jihoon's desk with his huge eye smile. Jihoon kind of wants to slap the smile off his face. How could someone smile that much? It wasn't a disgusting smile. It wasn't a flirty smile, or a "I'm going to beat you up until you're crying for your mommy" smile. It was just a "welcome, let's be friends because I'm actually friendly" smile. Jihoon is thankful that he wasn't approached by someone who wanted to get into his pants, or someone who enjoyed beating up scholarship students. He didn't feel like starring in a movie where he gets beat up everyday for being intelligent and he gets a knight in shining armor. He hated those movies._

_"Are you new to Pledis?" Rich Guy asks._

_"Yeah. Wouldn't you be new here too?" Jihoon looks at the piece of paper, hesitantly taking it._

_Rich Guy laughs a little, and it's the best laugh Jihoon's ever heard. "No, Pledis has a High School Program. This might be college to you, but for most of us it's just thirteenth grade. Only some of the kids from twelveth grade make it here."_

_"Oh, so I'm technically the newbie huh?" Jihoon noticed that the classes are very small. His first period class, Literature, only had around fifteen students. Second period was Music Theory, and that only had around ten students. He remembers that Pledis campus is around twenty times larger than his old high school's, and that they had wings for each subject. That explained why the classes were so small; they had so many classrooms and teachers employed._

_"Yep," Rich Guy pats his head. "Do you have any questions about the school?"_

_"What GPA did you need to have to continue on to the college level of Pledis?" Jihoon asks out of curiosity, ignoring that the stranger just pat his head._

_"I had a 100 GPA, I did a shit ton of extracurricular activities, I won lots of dance competitions and I did a lot of things around campus. It's not just grades, it's what you do as a student. Pledis prides themselves with intelligent students, but they also like their character. The principal always looks for students with brains, and good character."_

_"Ah, I see." Jihoon says, "thanks."_

_"No problem, what's your name, cutie?"_

_"Cutie?" Jihoon is tomato faced but he scowls. "Shut up! You're blind!"_

_"Whatever you say, cutie. I'm not blind at all." Rich Guy gets up from the desk and Jihoon kind of regrets scowling. Rich Guy looks happy though._

_"I'm Kwon Soonyoung, call me soon." Rich Guy does a pretend phone motion at his ear and he walks away - leaving Jihoon a blushing mess._

_Jihoon opens the piece of paper to see doodley hearts and a phone number neatly written along with a side note: "I'm not a fuckboy I swear." Jihoon looks up to where Soonyoung went. He sits down with his group of friends, and they all cheer genuinely. Kwon Soonyoung was definitely not a fuckboy. Jihoon takes a note to text him later; because Soonyoung seemed to be a nice person to talk to. It was about time he actually had other friends. Jihoon only had Seokmin and the smiley idiot was attending college abroad._

 

**_As I stare intently into your eyes,_ **

**_my reflection there is the proof that I exist._ **

**_And my heartbeat, which could stop any time now._ **

**_Is resounding louder and louder._ **

**_I want to try and move beyond the present._ **

 

Tears roll down his cheeks as he remembers the memory. Jihoon stares at the phone, eyes clouded by tears and despair. He knows no one is going to answer. It was pointless trying to call. The voice message punctures his heart. He looks pathetic. If anyone saw him right now, they would laugh at him. The stone Lee Jihoon is actually a softie on the inside. People around campus knew him as tough, distant and emotionless. However, his voice made their day and his songs were the best. They enjoyed him as a person, even though his personality often pushed others away. Some still thought that it was magical on how Soonyoung managed to get close to Jihoon. They were meant for each other, even though they defined "opposites attract".

"Come back, please."

No answer.

Soonyoung was a mood maker. He was coveted by everyone on campus. His smile could make girls and guys faint. His aura was friendly, and open. He may have been one of the wealthiest people on earth; but Soonyoung was extremely down to Earth. Sure, he would brag about Pokemon or how he taught himself Japanese in a month, but he never bragged about his wealth. He was a person who often donated to non-profit organizations and he didn't like using money for just himself. That doesn't mean he was a walking wallet, however. Soonyoung rarely encountered a person who tried to use him for money, but ocasionally it happened. Soonyoung was definitely not a doormat, or someone so easily manipulated - so he refused to give them money.

 

" _Sorry, but you're not a very good liar. I know you're trying to use me for money. Fuck off and find someone else to leech off. I'd rather spend my money on Jihoon than you, thank you very much."_

 

Those words still make Jihoon's heart flutter. Jihoon still remembered how they were out for dinner one night and some girl from another campus tried to seduce them both into a threesome for money. As disgusting as it sounds, it happened. And Jihoon still barfs on the inside. He still remembered how short her skirt was, and how transluscent her shirt was. He could've sworn that the girl was a prostitute, but Soonyoung always told him never to assume the worse of people. That moment scarred him for life though. He was one-hundred percent gay, and so was Soonyoung. No one wanted some desperate girl to be in their bed; well some guys do. But Soonyoung and Jihoon had morals, and they wouldn't have sex unless they loved the other. Speaking of that, they had their first night the exact same night the girl tried to lure the two men into bed.

 

**_Rather than stopping in my tracks,_ **

**_afraid to lose the happiness I held in my hands._ **

**_I've thought of each way that I could possibly_ **

**_make your smile the largest I can._ **

 

_The girl had long chocolate brown hair - which was most likely a wig - and her eyes were electric blue. The skirt was three sizes too small; it was way above her knees. Her white shirt was so translucent that her watermelons could be seen through the shirt. It was cringey because she had no watermelons, they were more like tiny bumps. Her makeup was too heavy that her lips looked like she tried to eat a hundred cherries and she failed. Jihoon nearly lost his fettucine alfredo meal after he saw her. Soonyoung was drinking his water peacefully until she approached them. He spit his water out onto the ground ( not on the girl ) and then nearly proceeded to lose his spaghetti and meatballs that he had consumed a few moments before._

_"Hey boys." The girl poses, bending over to show how large ( ahem, small ) her behind was. "Interested in having some fun for just a few bucks?"_

_"No thanks." Soonyoung takes the words out of Jihoon's mouth. "I'm taken."_

_"She doesn't need to know.. I can show you a real good time." The girl moves to grind on Soonyoung._

_"Excuse me," Jihoon growls possessively. Soonyoung takes note. "He's my boyfriend." Jihoon stands in front of Soonyoung before the girl could touch him, glaring daggers into her electric blue eyes._

_"Oh! He's your boyfriend. Do you boys swing both ways?" She tries to lick her lip sexily, making Jihoon gag._

_"No, we don't. Sorry." Soonyoung looks pissed. "I'm a hundred percent gay and I prefer the ass than the vagina. It smells better."_

_The girl is still persistent. She grabs Jihoon's hand forcefully and places it on her tiny watermelon. Her other hand moving to rub Jihoon's crotch area. "Maybe your boyfriend thinks differently. You could always get both in a three way." Jihoon smacks her hand away as soon as it makes contact with his pants._

_Soonyoung chokes on his spit, grabbing Jihoon's hand and pulling him away. "Find someone who would waste their time with you, because we wouldn't." His eyes are fuming._

_How dare she. How dare a person other than himself touch Jihoon? Soonyoung wasn't one of the cleanest caliber. He wasn't a man with a never ending libido but he did have dirty thoughts and he did lust after Jihoon, but he kept it to himself. He should be the one touching Jihoon, not some random girl on the street. Soonyoung drags Jihoon to his house on Pledis campus, pulling him. He was very sexually uncomfortable and frustrated that he was remaining silent. He takes his shoes off and storms into another room leaving Jihoon confused. Soonyoung sighs, he wants to ask Jihoon if he was comfortable with doing "it" but he didn't want to make the younger man upset with him for asking. He mind as well just ask._

_Around twenty minutes later, Soonyoung has Jihoon pinned against his bedroom wall; leaving heavenly kisses on his neck. He moves away from his neck and moves to capture Jihoon's plump lips in a kiss. He has to make him stop mewling or else Soonyoung was going to lose control. And he didn't feel like having that happen. Their lips clash together, Soonyoung's tongue slipping into Jihoon's mouth while exploring his mouth. Jihoon moans, entangling his fingers in Soonyoung's hair. Twenty minutes after that, Soonyoung is pounding him mercilessly into his king sized bed while Jihoon screams his name over and over like a broken record. He takes hold of Jihoon's hips, leaving finger indentations on his skin. Soonyoung finds his prostate and slams against it harshly, moaning at how great Jihoon's ass sucks him in._

_The next morning; Jihoon wakes up at the same time as Soonyoung. They remain silent, just staring into each other's eyes. Their faces are reflected in each other. Lee Jihoon is happy to call Kwon Soonyoung his. Kwon Soonyoung is happy to call Lee Jihoon his._

 

**_When I look back to our usual days in my thoughts,_ **

**_they always seem to glow._ **

**_Holding onto your warmth tightly,_ **

**_I feel the proof that we're together._ **

 

But now, Kwon Soonyoung wasn't there anymore. He was gone, like a speck of dust in the wind. Jihoon hangs up the phone call; scrolling through all his outgoing calls. He feels pathetic for hoping that he would pick up in the cheery voice he always answered in. It was a hopeless cause; but not everything was a hundred percent hopeless. Jihoon just felt his love life was hopeless. They say that your world ends when you die. Jihoon's world ended when Soonyoung left his side. Jihoon's world ended when he found out that Soonyoung was lying to him about everything. But, being the fool he was, Jihoon still loved him. He still cared about his health, and his dancing skills. Soonyoung wasn't even mad when Jihoon told him that he was "Woozi", he had been so accepting of it. He understood. Soonyoung had secrets of his own, that he was the world renowned dancer "Hoshi". Both men secretly admired each other. It was pretty hilarious and ironic.

Jihoon walks out of his room. heading to put a coat on. The coat initially belonged to Soonyoung; but he left it with Jihoon. The only thing Soonyoung didn't leave was Jihoon's heart because he took it with him once he left. Jihoon always handwashed the coat because it smelled like the one he loved most, and he didn't want it to lose it's scent. Jihoon puts on shoes and goes to leave the house. He walks down the street, hands in his pockets. He has enough change to buy a gift. Jihoon knows what the day is, and he sighs. He goes to buy a bouqet of flowers along with a Hershey's chocolate bar. He boards the next train to Busan, but that's not his destination. His destination is one of the train stops. Jihoon sighs, feeling his heart break at the event that occured only two years ago, right after he graduated Pledis with Soonyoung.

 

**_Now I'm walking at the same speed as you,_ **

**_to the future that we wished for._ **

**_No matter how many wishes came true,_ **

**_I want to be with you tomorow._ **

**_Because I'll keep wishing for the same_ **

**_again and again._ **

 

_"You never told me."_

_"I'm sorry Jihoon."_

_Jihoon stares at Soonyoung, who had fainted a few hours ago. Jihoon had noticed Soonyoung getting tired, he was collapsing a lot and he had to drop out of one of his dance competitions because of his health. Jihoon rushed Soonyoung to the hospital after he had fainted. And for some reason, the doctor wasn't surprised to see Soonyoung there. It was as if he visited the hospital frequently. This bothered Jihoon; and he pressured an answer out of Soonyoung. The answer he received shot him in the face. Jihoon didn't know what to say._

_"You have Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, and you never told anyone. You fucking idiot!" Jihoon cries, gripping Soonyoung's hands tightly. "You must be hurting.. you dance... you do everything.. and you have a stupid disease. You never told your friends. How are they going to feel? You never told me!"_

_"I didn't want you to worry. I'm sorry."_

_"How do you think I feel now?" Jihoon yells, making Soonyoung stiffen. His facial expression darkens and he moves his hands away from Jihoon's._

_"Leave." Soonyoung commands._

_Jihoon steps back, apalled. "...You're telling me to leave?"_

_The words flew out of Soonyoung's mouth. "I don't love you. I never loved you. Get out. You peasant."_

_Jihoon's heartbreaks and he just takes the small box out of his pocket, throwing it at the sick man in the bed. "I HOPE YOU DIE!" He yells, storming out of the room in tears. The doctor looks at them both with pity._

_"Well, Doctor Wen, it's done now. He's going to hate me, so when I die, he won't care anymore." Soonyoung sighs, his skin turning pale. He grabs the small box Jihoon gave him and opens it, revealing a necklace. There's a compartment. He opens the necklace to see a photo of him and Jihoon on their first year anniversary together. Soonyoung cries, holding the necklace close to his slow palpitations._

 

**_Because the flow of time_ **

**_will mercilessly wash us away someday_ **

**_In that final flash, don't miss a_ **

**_single thing that you could see._ **

 

_FROM: Doctor Wen Junhui_

_Subject: Soonyoung's Condition_

_Hello, Jihoon._

_Soonyoung gave me your number._

_His condition has deterioated and he has begun approaching his final moments._

_If you still care about him, please hear me out._

_Soonyoung was pretending to hate you._

_He wanted you to hate him so you wouldn't care when he passed on._

_Please understand._

_Come down to the hospital if you want to see him._

_He only requested you to come._

_Thank you._

 

_TO: Doctor Wen Junhui_

_Subject: RE: Soonyoung's Condition_

 

_Hello Doctor,_

_Of course I will come. I'll see you soon._

 

_Jihoon rushed down to the hospital just to see Soonyoung. He dashed into the hospital room, seeing Soonyoung sickly pale. He looked skinner and his chubby cheeks were gone. Jihoon rushes to his side; taking his hand quickly as he holds back his tears. He looks at Soonyoung's eyes; they have lost their glow. But that's okay._

_"You idiot.." Jihoon mumbles. He hugs Soonyoung, holding him close as tears fall. "You're such a retard. I hate you. I could never hate you. You were always on my mind, you always are. I care about you too much.. I know you didn't mean any of the things you said."_

_Soonyoung weakly grins like the idiot he is. "Well," his voice is weak like a child's whisper. "I love you so much Jihoon. You mean so much to me.. take that black box on the table and open it. For me, please." Soonyoung says._

_Jihoon obeys. "Of course," Jihoon picks up the black box on the table and opens it; revealing a 17 carat diamond ring._

_"I-I know this is sudden and you might say no, but Lee Jihoon, I love you. I want to be with you forever. I wish I could." Soonyoung breathes out. "I want you to hold that ring, in memory of me. Lee Jihoon, you complete me. Will you marry me?"_

_Jihoon nearly faints. He kisses Soonyoung's cold lips, handing the ring to Soonyoung's weak hands so he could put the ring on. "Of course you dumbass." He's crying at this point. "Of course! I love you so much!" He cries out, his heart genuinely hurting._

_Soonyoung weakly slips the ring on, smiling. "I'm so grateful... I get to die.. in the arms and presence of someone I love.." Soonyoung holds Jihoon's hands. "My precious baby. My precious Kwon Jihoonie." He kisses his hands before the monitors begin to beep crazily._

_"Shh.. save your energy, Soonyoung." Jihoon smiles sadly._

_"I-I l..ov...e.... yo...u.. K...w...o..n... J..ih..o....o....n...."_

_The heart monitor beeps._

 

**_As I stare intently into your eyes,_ **

**_my reflection there is the proof that I exist._ **

**_And my heartbeat, which could stop any time now._ **

 

Jihoon sits on a special hill with an oak tree sapling and a tombstone. He places the flowers in front of the tombstone, tears slowly rolling down his cheeks. He hums a song called "1 of 1" by SHINee, one of Soonyoung's favorite songs. He just sits in front of the tombstone, singing the song to him.

"Happy 26th birthday, Kwon Soonyoung. I love you too."

And above him, a star twinkles in the night sky.

Soonyoung's ghost stands by the tree, watching Jihoon sing to the tombstone.

"I love you more."

 

**_Even if I can't make it through today,_ **

**_I'll never forget the days I've spent with you._ **

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I have nothing to say.
> 
> Talk to me on Twitter: @Soonyoungjpeg


End file.
